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what have i become, my sweetest friend... - You may not know it... but you mean everything to me [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
The place to rant about the one you love

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what have i become, my sweetest friend... [Jul. 31st, 2004|02:21 pm]
The place to rant about the one you love

silent_lovers

[dweiashards]
[mood |depresseddepressed]
[music |a perfect circle - magdalena]

...everyone I know, goes away in the end.

Nostalgia is the most depressing thing anyone can go through. In my opinion in any case. The knowledge that something amazing has come and gone, and you will never experience the same thing again. Ever. Is it even possible to be nostalgic about something that happened less than a week ago? I guess because it's in the past, one can. But apparently my ability to live in the present is not very good. I either live in the past or in the future, what I hope will happen, and what had happened. Right now, i am most definitely living in the past.

Memories with you in this past month that I shall never forget:

*Being led straight into the wall in your pitch black corridor.
*Watching Star Trek, and listening to 'highly illogical.'
* You in your suit at the concert in Brescia, looking every ounce the diplomats daughter that you are.
* "Granny-walking" down the mountain in St. Christina while trying to remember the Requiem.
* Walking around Altenmarkt that night after the concert, not really knowing where we are going, but walking nonetheless, having interesting conversations.
* Sitting by the fountain in Altenmarkt at 2am, listening to you reciting "Darkling" and Dorothy Parker.
* The gondola ride in Venezia, and our black lace parasols.
* Tearing around Salzburg in the rain, seeing Mozarts birthplace together, and taking the photograph.
* Time spent at the internet cafe' in Bremen...
* Walking to and fro the hotel in Bremen to the Cafeteria, living on junk food
* Stuffing you full of pills at the hotel that night, because you *were* getting sick. *mock glare* *coughwhoringthepornchannels* and watching CNN.
* Your enthusiasm about the african repertoire and your insistence on getting the little sticker-thingys after each performance.
* Only getting 2nd in the olympics, and realising that you really are there for me.
* Our impromptu stage performance in the deserted mall after celebrations...and walking around Bremen looking for a place that will serve us (not you ^^) booze.
* Your groupie-isms, organisation, bossiness and mad-scientist hair.
* Sitting on the bridge in Dusseldorf at midnight, under the shadow of the ferris-wheel, singing Belinda Carlisle, Tori Amos and Tuba Mirum.
* Watching Amadeus and supressing squeals because of the obvious canon.
* Being content to simply sit next to you at the computer while you did your art.
* Being lectured about my inefficiency.
* Trudging around Roma, trying to find out where the hell we are. ;)
* Riding on the little train thingy, and your 'daunty' hat. :p
* Sitting on the balcony at the residence.
* You squishing my face on the train on the way back to Milano.
* Walking to and spending time at Jess' place, and your obsession with Milly.
* Having lunch at the restaurant at the Duomo, the day of my departure.
* The ride to the airport, listening to you and your dad talking.
* Watching your face dissapear as I went down the escalator at the airport, and crying because I would not see you again.

etc etc etc.

All these things I will always remember. They are all so extremely precious to me, and having you as my friend is more than I will ever ask for again. All I want is for us to be friends. I want to continue knowing you, even though this has ended. You are so incredibly special to me, and I hope that we will never drift apart. Thank you for the most amazing holiday I have ever had.

for one chance one kiss
one taste of you my magdalena
my black madonna





threw you the obvious and you flew with it on your back
a name in your recollection
down among a million same
difficult not to feel a little bit disappointed
and passed over
when i've looked right through to see you
naked but oblivious
and you don't see me
but i threw you the obvious
just to see if there's more behind
the eyes of a fallen angel
eyes of a tragedy
here i am expecting just a little bit too much
from the wounded
but i see see through it all
see through and see you
cause i threw you the obvious to see
what occurs behind the eyes of a fallen angel
eyes of a tragedy
oh well
oh well
apparently nothing
apparently nothing at all
you don't see me
you don't see me at all
linkReply

Comments:
[User Picture]From: desertrose0o
2004-07-31 10:35 am (UTC)
That is a beautiful song. I think I can identify with you on the nostalgia part, I can never stop focussing on the past.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: dweiashards
2004-07-31 10:38 am (UTC)
Yea it is. I love Maynards voice.

And as for the nostalgia and focusing on the past thing - neither can I. It becomes kind of addictive, in a way. Like perpetually feeding on your memories.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
From: ophelia55
2004-07-31 05:12 pm (UTC)
three libras = story of my nine lives.
(Reply) (Thread)